3 years ago

Child Care

How to Support Your Shy Child to Socialize With People

May 24, 2021



Do you have a shy child who is finding it difficult to socialize with people? If yes, then I guess you have found the help today.

It is the joy of every mother to see her children active and happy.

As for me, I love to see my kids play around, scatter the house and do all their children stuff.

Okay… scattering the house is just amusing but cleaning their mess is always hard work.?

Well, I have a way of sharing house chores among my children

So, cleaning up the mess after their “child’s play” is totally up to them. 

I can’t come and kill myself.?

Okay, back to our topic…

While seeing your child being socially active may gladden your heart, there are lots of children who find it challenging to take the first step. 

Just imagine you are in a playground with your kids, and while other kids are running around, your child is just sitting in isolation.

It is heartbreaking, isn’t it?

Yeah, I know that feeling! 

My first child fits this profile perfectly. 

She was always the only child who watched the others play from a distance in the playground.

Thank God, It’s all in the past now. I got that all sorted out.

So,  if you are experiencing this situation with your child, don’t worry, I’ve got ya!.

Most times, it’s probably a part of their DNA. It’s inborn and has a lot to do with their natural temperament.

However, all hope is not lost; here are some steps you can take to help them overcome their shyness. 

Trust me; no child likes to be left out. 

Children don’t naturally want to be shy. 

Your child would love and thank you for helping him/her outgrow this phase.  

The key is to help them work with, rather than against, their natural temperament. 

Are you ready for this, Mamma? If yes, let’s go there. ?

How to help Your Shy Child to Socialize With People

What are the tips that will help your shy child to socialize?

So, here are the tips to help you support shy children and make them feel more comfortable around others.

1. Evaluate and understand your child:

As a mom, I guess you already do this.

Naturally, moms are special detectives in the family.

They know when things are not alright.

I believe that’s even how to get to know that your child is not socializing with people.

But this time, when you observe your child, you are seeking to understand them.

You want to understand how they respond to new developmental transitions such as starting school or a new after-school activity. 

Many children go through spells of shyness when they encounter these new transitions, and it is entirely normal. 

However, shyness can also be one of the symptoms of anxiety. 

Therefore, it is essential to look out for other symptoms such as excessive worrying, nervous movements, and sleeping problems. 

If you have questions about whether your child’s shyness could be linked to anxiety, don’t hesitate to talk to your doctor for some peace of mind.

2. Help your child to find his vibe:

Sometimes, anxiety may not be the problem of your child.

It could be that shyness is probably just a normal part of his temperament. 

This personality trait can show up as early as infancy.

Some children automatically smile and open their arms to unfamiliar persons when they stretch to carry them.

And we know those who will never allow anyone except their mom to touch them.

It’s not like something is wrong with them; ooo, it’s who they are. 

So, instead of focusing on trying to “change” the shy child, reframe it as helping him to “find his vibe.”

Expose your child to opportunities where he can exhibit his natural strengths.

It could be that your child is a great listener or a creative thinker.

So, you need to keep experimenting until you find out what will help him grow more comfortable around new people or environments.

3. Resist the urge to apply force: 

To socialize with people is a thing of choice.

You don’t have to ride on your child’s choice just because you want to please your selfish interest. 

If a voice tells you to force them at any time, calmly say to the voice to “Get thee behind me.”

Saying something like “Come on, don’t be shy!” may eventually make the child shyer.

Labelling your child as “shy” can make them feel like he is doing something wrong, making him even timider. 

So, if your child is not ready, don’t force him.

Instead, create a comfortable environment that lets him develop his social skills naturally. 

For example, invite new friends to visit your house for the first few times, instead of taking your little one to their house.

4. Set up one-on-one playdates:

Setting up playdates with two or three others can often be overwhelming for shy children. 

Try instead to set up one-on-one play dates with a child who has similar interests. 

Allow your child to play with some of the toys alone, and then gently try to strike up a conversation between the children by saying something like, “Did you know that Chanel likes boats, too?”. 

Then back off and let your child take the lead.

5. Let your child know what to expect:

In simple terms, “prepare your child for the unknown.”

Before you take your child out to any new environment, make sure that you prepare them for the unknown.

Anticipate your child’s uneasy feeling and take some time to prepare them for what to expect.

For instance, if you are going to a playground, make sure your child knows what to expect there.

This will help them to prepare their minds for what they will see.

Give them some pointers for making friends help make the situation more manageable, like finding a similar interest. 

Remind them of a time when they were in a new situation, got through the initial discomfort and had fun. 

You may also want to arrive early to new locations, such as a new school or sports activity.

This will let your child explore the surroundings by themselves before all the other children arrive.

6. Allow your child to pick his clothes:

We all know that we dress the way we want to be addressed.

Also, our dressing has a way of affecting our confidence.

If your child is confident about his dressing, he will be confident to socialize with other people.

So, when your child selects a cloth, please don’t shun them or make them wear something else.

If you feel your children don’t have good clothes, you need to change some of their wardrobes.

When they have nice clothes in their wardrobe, anything they pick to wear will be nice, and you will not have to douce their confidence.

7. Let others know about your child’s shyness:

Okay, let me make this clear…

Being shy is not a disease, and don’t make it seem so.

Letting others know about your child’s shy nature is only necessary if you are not the only person taking care of the child.

But if you are a Stay At Home Mom, then it’s just you and your child always.

In a situation where you have a nanny or babysitter, tell them that your child is slow to warm up to new social situations.

By doing this, they will not force your child to socialize; instead, they will always give your child time to adjust.

You can share this article with them so that they too can learn valuable tips that will help them care for your child better.


Remember that your child is a human being and has feelings.

So, don’t hurt your child’s feelings in public just because you want him to socialize with people.

You are not supposed to make your child feel guilty for what comes naturally to him.

Your job as a mom is to help your child to grow and thrive as who they are.

Now, let me know in the comment section which of these tips you will start applying immediately? 

Do you have a shy child? How have you tried to help him/her?

Leave a comment below, and don’t forget to bless someone by sharing this article with them.  


Always remember that motherhood is a journey made easy when we have the right people in our corner. ?

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Keep being #fabulous ?

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Viv ?

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